I was recently attending an open house. A military academy open house. You know one of those events one is invited to and hesitation comes completely over oneself. Why? Expectation. One might think that is an unusual word to use. Yes, there is this since of expectation we have when attending an event. Not only for our self. What will it be like? What should I wear? How should I behave. We also have spoken or unspoken expectations about the event we are attending. This is the same about weddings.
What are the expectations in a wedding? (The word we is being used as a guest)
1. We expect to be the center of attention, even though we understand the bride should be the center of attention. After all we are friend, family, related, sister, brother, mother, daughter...It doesn't really matter what the relationship is the expectation is there.
2. We want attention, feel beautiful , like the wedding we are attending.
3. We critique. I could have planned this better. It could have been better if..., etc.
What Should A Beautiful Wedding Look Like?
1. A bride and groom who understand their guest need to feel like them. And instead of getting upset are gracious. Accepting the comments spoken and not replying to the negative ones understanding even that person is looking for some attention from her/him . From the couple. You can allow them to get to you or you can rise above and allow the things being spoken that hurt fall off.
2. Create a moment at the reception when the guest are the center of attention. This might be a dance, a game to be played or just a speech by the couple thanking them and letting the guest know how much they appreciate them. (if you do this add some spontaneous comments from the night to make it humorous. Ex: "Aunt Sally thank you for saying how you didn't care for the salad, I agree it's a little different than expected. There might not be anything wrong with the salad. However, Aunt Sally who gave you that great refrigerator at the shower want people to know how gracious and loved she is.
3. Accept all critiques. True or not and know that you can talk about it later with them. Rise above the guest, the "we" at the wedding and take control by making up your mind that this is your day. No one will take it away by upsetting you and taking your attending off why your really getting married. Because you love each other.